There
are some things that only money can buy and there are some things money can
never buy.
Our wallets can be open to buying
food, clothing, shelter and transportation, but opening our hearts requires
more than money.
How do we help abandoned children
fill the emotional gaps and heartaches from separation?
·
Separation from parents and family
·
Separation from friends and community
·
Separation from culture and familiar
surroundings
How do we help abandoned children
continue to grow and develop into healthy people?
The US is not prepared as a
society—as a nation—to successfully transition thousands of children from other
countries—other cultures.
How will these children develop to
meet normal expectations?
They may cross the border, but how
do they cross the cultural divide—the cultural and social barriers—the language
barriers? Bringing down the walls and
cutting out the fences will not eliminate the emotional and psychological trip
wires that these children have to cross.
Many of these children will die
along the way—many already have; some have starved alone and some have starved
in the arms of their parents or siblings when they were dumped by “coyotes”
north of the Mexican border—without food or water.
Are these abandoned children moving
on a pathway to a better life, to a better education to a better family life,
to a happier childhood—or are they moving down a pathway to a living hell?
Separation from parents and family
will result, for a great percentage of these children, in attachment
disorders. Their initial bondings have
been broken and so will their hearts be broken when they begin to realize they
are not returning to their homeland and their families.
Thousands will suffer from mental
and psychological, social and emotional problems brought on by feelings of betrayal
trauma cause by their abandonment.
·
They will experience disorganized attachment
·
They will experience communications problems and
lack of social skills for transitioning into American families and the American
culture.
Where will the abandoned children
be housed?
·
In strange foster families?
·
In strange group settings?
·
In orphanages?
Will we become like Romania? (I’ve been there and worked in the
orphanages and most of those abandoned children were living a life worse than
prisoners in the most deprived prisons in this country.)
·
In day care centers? Are caregivers prepared for the transition
these children have to make?
What will happen to the children
“on the loose” after they cross the border?
·
Many will be picked up by human
trafficking—raped, used as sex slaves, used as unpaid workers, shipped and sold
abroad, and even starved or murdered.
·
Many will be vulnerable to petty crime.
·
Theft will be a natural outcome for
many who feel they have been “stolen” away from their families. These feelings are often manifested in acts
of stealing. Many will
be in search of water and food—in any way they can get it.
What will be the outcome for those
abandoned children who are sick or have diseases?
·
How long before health care is administered?
·
Who will comfort them when they are in pain?
·
Who will take away their feelings of fear?
·
Who will treat their complex trauma?
·
Who will diagnose their developmental trauma
disorder?
·
Who will help the rape victims to prevent PTSD?
You only have to travel to the Rio
Grande Valley of Texas to witness the plight of many of those babies and young
children waiting for transportation and a place to go. You will see:
·
Filth
·
Fear of the unknown
·
Frightening cries
·
Need for toilet paper
·
Need for diapers—and a place to dispose of them
·
Need for medication and food
·
Need for water and soap and a place to bathe
·
Need for a little privacy
There is a relationship between
childhood development and later adulthood behavior—for better and for worse.
Having
worked on over 100 capital murder cases, and studied the behavior of the
incarcerated, I can understand why there is a relationship between severe early
childhood problems such as disorganized attachment and later criminal
behavior.
In our current American society, we have
25% of children between the ages of 8 years and 18 years that are involved in
such illegal behaviors they are considered beyond rehabilitation. These youth will be adults in ten years and
will make up about one fourth of our young adult population. We have problems—most of which are related to
early childhood development. Yet, how
much do you hear about these real problems?
In my opinion, it’s going to take a
lot more than what money can buy to bring about a miracle for every abandoned
child who crosses the border and survives to go on to develop into an adult who
can meet the challenges and reap the joys of becoming an American in the United
States of America.
Yes, there are many things money
can buy and there are many things money can never buy.
No comments:
Post a Comment